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Silence Wants Me but I Don't Wanna Be Quiet

by The Canvas Collective

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1.
Mr. Hookline 02:25
walking back home from his house, passing your place where I would've been before well I could go over to settle the score but you might find that I donā€™t really care anymore no I can't believe how close it got, how miserable I would've been in your arms you said ā€œdon't worry, it's not about you,ā€ well that's good to know cause I could say the same to you you say you're playing a part, that it ain't real and I'll learn to suck it up Mr. Hookline with the right rhymes, but the wrong start so tell your story and itā€™ll be worth their time, but you weren't worth mine no Mr. Hookline you're someone so unusual but that doesn't mean I could love you like I should been tearing up holes in my blouses but they still fit better than your leather jacket could see even I have got the decency to change the facts to save your feelings you said ā€œdon't worry, it's not about youā€ well that's good to know cause I could say the same to you you say you're playing a part that it ain't real and I'll learn to suck it up Mr. Hookline with the right rhymes, but the wrong start so tell your story and it'll be worth their time but you weren't worth mine no, you'll be in the same room with your same old tools and Iā€™ll be just fine you know, Mr. Hookline
2.
got this idea but itā€™s trapped inside I need you here with me to bring it to life if we talk weā€™ll feel a whole lot better nothing exciting ever happens when weā€™re not together stop putting pressure on yourself so much is going on and that never helps but we can make our own mistakes together wouldnā€™t that be better? cause you complete me, believe me nothing compares to the life that we share donā€™t worry, I got you always anything for my everything your presence is precious to me (your presence is precious to me) your presence is precious to me (your presence is precious to me) I take one look at you and I canā€™t believe the universe was finally kind enough for us to meet canā€™t you see the world is ours tonight? letā€™s just get out there now, we can make it alright cause you complete me, believe me nothing compares to the life that we share donā€™t worry, I got you always anything for my everything your presence is precious your presence is precious
3.
Androgynous 03:34
underneath this roof where you grew my hair long like girls are meant to your picture perfect view right on the track I was bound to tell me, am I a shadow of you? underneath your sigh, that vacant silent veil of denial kept me by your side, draining the life from my eyes tell me, am I a shadow of you? tell me Iā€™m not a shadow of you I threw away all of the dresses you wore just to feel something special I wish I couldā€™ve told you, you never had to put up a front to feel beautiful oh no, I donā€™t miss you now youā€™re gone but I still feel your soul in my own so, tell me Iā€™m not a shadow of you no, I canā€™t be a shadow of you, no this is the real me, so take what you got sorry to say but your days are long gone, cause I am androgynous
4.
he calls me late today, this is his routine gesture he falls asleep on the phone, but I stay up and wonder oh darling, would you come over tonight? I'll just hang up quietly, it'll be fine cause I wanna love in evening glitter sink into hands so tender wanna get a little bit closer you're my reality sinner oh oh woah oh you're my reality sinner oh oh woah oh you're my reality sinner my sheets are made of lies, but in my dreams I'm faithful he's always so polite, won't scratch the surface level so darling, would you come over tonight? I'll just act like nothing's wrong if you'll stay the night cause I wanna love in evening glitter sink into hands so tender wanna get a little bit closer you're my reality sinner oh oh woah oh you're my reality sinner oh oh woah oh you're my reality sinner wanna love in evening glitter sink into hands so tender wanna get a little bit closer you're my reality sinner oh oh woah oh you're my reality sinner
5.
we'll listen to the lady but let's bring this to a close we've all got things to do don't want this incident to impose on the agenda of our leader we don't wanna mistreat her but we've come to a verdict already, we can't hear her he never did anything wrong you can prove, you can cry all you want but we won't change the rules, he's got a godly version of the truth and thereā€™s nothing you can do cause we won't listen to you no we won't listen I am here today not cause I want to be but because you made me I was forced to find the strength to speak so you listen to me I've been shamed into silence to cover up his touch humiliated, fearing how my words would be spun my story, my pain, it'll never be enough why canā€™t I just get a break from this stuff? I am here today not cause I want to be but because you made me I was forced to find the strength to speak so you listen to me listen, you better, you better listen, listen to me
6.
some things must be done alone but thereā€™s not much to do when Iā€™m so far away from myself, and nobody knows Iā€™m carving craters in my cheeks again outside my face is beautiful, so I need to destroy it and maybe then no one will ever look at me again, staring and wondering what gender I am silence wants me but I donā€™t wanna be quiet Iā€™m safer in my own world but this is more important my biology is not my destiny, no I wonā€™t be labeled tear down my worth, but they canā€™t tear myself from myself two days ago I thought about stopping it all, taking back who I am just so theyā€™d feel comfortable itā€™s more convenient if you just settle for whatever box they sell you when youā€™re vulnerable but I couldnā€™t be something Iā€™m not, no, Iā€™ve got two souls inside me and thatā€™s more than enough to claim myself for who I am I wonā€™t let them tell me who I am get, get out, get out of my head out, get out, get out of my head, I wanna, I wanna be me instead stare and protest but they canā€™t take myself from myself Iā€™m breathing, Iā€™m human, I am a person not a pronoun Iā€™ll make a huge fucking scene for all the kids who never got to be comfortable living in their own skin, no weā€™re not giving in, no, weā€™re not giving in no, weā€™re not giving in, no no, weā€™re not giving in, no no, weā€™re not giving in, no no, weā€™re not giving in, no no, weā€™re not giving in (we're not giving in), no

credits

released August 22, 2020

Performed by: Mandy Kessler, Kris Wong, Nicole Tomaszewski, and Antonio Macomber
Engineered and Produced by: Sam Stallings
Mixed and Mastered by: Logan Haynes
Cover Artwork by: Samar Mian

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The Canvas Collective Boston, Massachusetts

NY based Alt Rock/Pop band.

Debut EP out nowšŸŽØšŸ–ŒšŸŒˆ

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